I choose to be quite

I sit down here…….
I close my eyes…..take a deep breath..
feel a bit free when I do it, but
when I open my eyes…
all still the same…..
the problem never change….

I just feel like a machine….
task 1 : writing skripsi
task 2 : do managing info research
task 3 : writing strategy for strategic issue assignment
task 4 : prepare the new lesson for my student
task 5 : thinking of my personal problems


all of it… make me sick…
confuse, sad, worry, guilty, dizzy, all come to me , .
it shakes my head, and make me under pressure…


I want to coolin down,
but all dateline is waiting….


I want to run away…
but that’s not my style……


I want to cry….
but no more tears left…


my emotion become uncontrolled…
my priority become mess up
my work become smash down…
and I don’t know what to do….



tired without work…
sad without cry…..
screaming without voice..
talking without speaking…


so….. again……………..
I choose to keep silent..
I just be quite….
just be quite….

try to enjoy it….
try to survive…
try to stand up… with rest of my soul..